I'VE GOT A D+. THIS HASN'T HAPPENED IN SO LONG. IM LITERALLY FREKAING THE FUCK OUT. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I'VE GOT ALL A'S, A B, AND A D+. IDK WHAT TO DO. HELP ME. SRSLY. IM GOING TO DIE. MY MOM WILL KILLLLLLLL ME. HELP.
FUCK. SHIT. DICK. WANK.

So last week I wrote this amazing essay based of 9/11. Today in class my teacher told me I was a talented writer. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm good. Check it out....

( I didn’t realize that those were real people, real lives lost, it was reality not just some movie playing on the television.  )

I'd proably give up feeling. I couldn't get cold or hot anymore. Everything would feel the same. It'd be pretty interesting, because you always hear about people who can't see, talk, or hear, but never smell or feel.

I was binging in the kitchen today. And my sister waslike "you know what I hate?" i was like "what?" she goes, "when i find gross stuff in the sink. it looks like food." and i was like "its prolly my um mascara and makeup." she goes "okay"  then i was purging and she knocks on the bathroom door and is like "you in there?" and im like "hold on" and she's like "...clean up the sink when your done with that."



brb dying. omg im so scared.
talk to me.

I GOT MARRIED TODAY BITCHES. TO THE HOTTEST CHICK AROUND. SHE'S FUCKING AMAZING. BE JEALOUS. YOU KNOW YOU ARE.
I LOVE YOUU SO FUCKING MUCH worldatease 
NO JOKE NO JOKE. ILY HAVEW MY BBS

To all my slash readers. IM SO FUCKING SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN AGES. IM EITHER TOO LAZY OR I'VE GOT WRITER'S BLOCK. THE THING IT I'VE GOT STUFF WRITTEN IN A NOTEBOOK JUST NOT TYPED UP. IM GOING TO TYPE IT UP SOON THOUGH.

I hate my body so much. I'm not even kidding. It pisses me off to even look in the mirror. No one even knows I feel this way about myself. I've tried telling my friend how much I wish I could just lose weight and never put it back on. My friend acts like she thinks that I'm just kidding. The truth is, I'm not kiddng.

I just wish I would never have to eat again. I wish I could just drink water for the rest of my life. Food is such a fucking bitch.  I try not to eat, but then I get hungry so I eat and end up binging. Once I'm done binging I feel guilty so I run up into my bathroom and purge right away. I hate purging, but I keep doing it. I don't even want to purge I end up doing it. My stomach will hurt if I don't. 

Either my family is blind or they juat don't care. They don't seem to notice that after I eat I run straight into the bathroom and spend twenty minutes in there. If they do notice, they don't care enough to help me. My mom thinks I'm losing weight because I'm working out. She's absolutly wrong. I'm only losing weight because I purge everyday. My one friend, Shiran whom I met online, told me awhile back I could die from purging as much as I do. The thing is, I'm not anywhere near skinny enough for that to happen. 

My throat constantly hurts. It gets raw from my constantly sticking my toothbrush down it to purge. i've been taking a lot of cough drops to stop the pain. I've also been tired a lot lately. I think I'm tired from lack or food after purging. i'm nto too sure though.

I'm going to start keeping a food diary. I'm also going to start counting cals again. I used to do it, but lately I've stopped. In my food log I'm going to include how much cals I've taken into my body, how much food i've consumed, sleeping hours, how much I drink, my weight, and how much I purge. 

I feel like shit too much. I think i'm at the point where I don't want to get better. If my family does find out about my eating disorder I'm going to refuse to get help. I don't want help. I'd rather just be left alone. Although it still doesn't help that no one even batts an eye at my constant binging and bathroom trips. 

Ontop of all this, I have writer's block. I can't seem to be able to write either of my fics. So don't expect an update anytime soon.
Just request a fic or something so you can help me get out of my block. I like to prompts and stuff so, yeah. Just help me somewhow.
sorry for clogging your f-lists.

<a href=http://www.lunapic.com/editor/ alt="Free Online Photo Editor"><img src="http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/7177/10089318ss4.jpg"></a>

I'm writing right now. I've had writer's block so that's why I haven't been able to update. I don't know when this chapter will be done. I think the hear over here is frying my brain. Well, if you haven't noticed my layout has been changed. I really like this one. 

 <a href="http://s219.photobucket.com/albums/cc235/mcremochick99/?action=view&current=0001dd9ylk9.png" target="_blank"><img src="http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc235/mcremochick99/0001dd9ylk9.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?
Yes...

Has anybody on your top ever admitted to liking you?
Ya! =P

Do you miss anyone?
Quite often.





Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Yeah, I really like someone right now.





When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
Today.



Can you touch your toes?
Yep.



Do you take walks often?
Not really.





Is silence really golden?
Yes.





Do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings?
Nope.





Are you afraid to grow up?
Yes and no.



Who were you with last night?
I was at home.





What language do you want to learn?
Japanesse.





If you had to marry someone on your top, who would it be?
Can't say.





Do you care what people think of you?
Nope. I couldn't care less.





Do you like to read?
I LOVE to read.





Plans for tomorrow?
Nothing.





Is anything wrong?
Kinda not really.





Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
Yeah.





What did you do for your last birthday?
Nothin



What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Jimmy Kimmel Live.


Name something you CANNOT wait for?
Spring Break.



What's your favorite season?
Summer.



Last thing you ate/drank?
Pizza.



Who’s making you feel the way you are right now?
A special boy who I love.



Looking forward to something this weekend?
Not really.



What are you watching right now?
My fingers type.





Do you know how to swim?
Very well, thank you.






Are any of your friends taller than you?
A lot.





Where do your friends live?
Niles.





Have you been to most of your friends houses?
Nope.





Do you currently like someone?
Yeah.






Do you get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily?
Yes.





Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you?
Ian.